To Keep Silent
by CarpeDiemForLife
Summary: Jason Yaxley is the son of the notorious Death Eater Yaxley. When Jason is assigned to feed the prisoners at Malfoy Manor, he is entirely unprepared for the strange yet friendly girl that he meets there: Luna Lovegood.


Jason Yaxley lived alone with his father from the age of two until he turned eleven. He did not enjoy these years; his father, known only as Yaxley, was a high-ranking Death Eater. Jason hated his father, but soon learned as a young child that to disobey meant pain. Many a scar and bruise reminded Jason of why he couldn't leave, why he had to do like his father said. Some nights he would cry himself to sleep, wishing for his mother to return. He did not know her, but no one could be worse than Yaxley. However these nights were when Jason was no more than a little boy. As he grew older, he became used to his life and learned to be stone: cold, unfeeling, and silent. By blocking out his emotions Jason kept his sanity, although much of his younger life was a blur to him later on.

At eleven years old Jason began school at Durmstrang. The girls fancied him, or his looks at least. Although he was neither a bully nor aggressive even, Jason soon developed an image as one of the tough guys, simply by remaining frostily silent. The look of him was intimidating, although no one ever saw him portray aggression. No one ever saw him portray much of any emotion. He breezed through school, having made no friends. At the end of his sixth year was when things changed. The Dark Lord returned. Suddenly being a Death Eater was less of a game and all wanted to continue to prove their undying loyalty to Voldemort. Yaxley of course offered up his son to join the ranks of the Death Eaters. Being void of emotion, Jason went along without a fight and so began his service to the Dark Lord. Sometimes the guilt broke through his pretense, but always when he was alone.

At the age of eighteen, he finished school. Change was coming. He took his place among the Death Eaters and did the work of the Dark Lord for the next year and a half.

Jason Yaxley pulled up his black hood once more, and made his way down into the dungeons of the Malfoy Manor.

"Food for the prisoners." The door swung open at the sound of his deep, cold voice and he was let into the cell.

"You say that every time you come here. Does it feel at all boring and repetitive by now?" a soft female voice emanated from the darkness. This was the first time the people in here had initiated contact. Usually Jason entered, placed the tray with food on the cold stone floor, and walked back out, that's it. But now some girl was talking to him. Jason held his tongue. Speaking to the prisoners would be suicide. So he kept his mouth shut.

His silence only lasted a moment though as he realized that he wanted to see his surroundings.

"Lumos," he said. A light grew from his wand so that now he could see where he was setting the tray with food.

"You know, the shadows make you look rather like a dementor. I reckon you'd look much better if you took that hood off. Not so dark all the time you see." Now Jason could see the girl speaking to him. She had dirty blonde hair, a round face, and wore a pair of ridiculous earrings. Were those radishes? She was actually rather cute.

_In a vacant, clueless sort of way,_ Jason thought with an internal scoff. Jason knew that the girl was awaiting some kind of response. But he still remained quiet.

The girl turned to her companion.

"I suppose he's just not very talkative Mr. Ollivander. Such a shame," said the girl with a seemingly sad air about her.

"Yes my dear, it is a shame indeed, but Luna, you mustn't expect much from these Death Eater types," Ollivander told her. Jason wanted to protest, but continued to keep his mouth shut and simply hardened his jaw. His face remained entirely impassive.

"It would be nice to have another person to talk to, don't you think so?" Luna asked. Her voice felt so soft and quiet, as if a breeze could come and carry it off. Or perhaps her voice _was_ the breeze, swooping through the room and bringing warmth and light with it.

_Stop thinking stupid things like that_, Jason reprimanded himself, _If any of them heard something like that in your mind... _Regardless, it was starting to bother Jason that she spoke as if he wasn't even in the room. His stomach felt queasy and he wanted to shout,

**I'm not furniture! I can speak! I have thoughts! I'm not just a 'Death Eater'.** But he kept silent.

"Certainly it would be. I am content with simply your company however," Ollivander responded kindly.

"He should be careful. If he goes too long without speaking, the mirshes may come and steal his voice forever."

"_What_?" a voice sounded in a tone that said, 'Is this girl crazy?'

Jason's heart pounded rapidly and he stopped breathing for a moment as he realized what he'd done. How could she have surprised him into talking? They would kill him! They might be planning his death at this very moment...

"The mirshes: small, fairy-like creatures. They visit people who haven't used their voice for quite some time and steal it away. You see, mirshes enjoy entertainment, and in particular, singing. So they keep voices stored in silver jars, using them to sing for them at social gatherings," the strange girl explained matter-of-factly. Was this girl for real? Jason supposed he should simply turn around and leave before things got worse, but he couldn't help himself. He laughed. One brief laugh. But then he fell quiet again.

"I don't think you need to worry about them however," she continued, "Mirshes target girls more commonly than boys. And besides, you just spoke. Although... you seem as though you regret it. Too scared, I suppose, to talk."

Any normal boy would have shifted uncomfortably in the presence of her accurate observation, but Jason simply gave a small smile that he knew she could not see, bent down to put the tray on the floor, and swept out of the room.

Every day, without fail, Jason brought the captured their food. Each day Luna tried to spark conversation. For the few days after their first interaction, Jason reverted to his completely silent self, but he could feel his cold façade beginning to slip. He didn't know how to handle this girl! This girl who was so bright and funny and innocent. Every day she reminded him to be cautious of the mirshes. This always earned her a smile from Jason, but she never knew it.

One day, Jason was preparing the food to take down to Luna and Ollivander, when he was greeted by a surprise visit from his father. Jason's insides twisted and a sweat began to form on his hands. Why was he here? One of the benefits of volunteering to assist the Malfoys in running their household was to escape his horrid father.

"Son," Yaxley greeted. Jason was still struck silent by his father's appearance and so took a few moments to collect himself well enough to answer. Precious moments.

Jason reeled to the side as he was struck a staggering blow to the face. His left cheek burned in pain and tears came unbidden to his eyes. Still, he remained silent.

"Address me when I speak to you," Yaxley ordered.

"Yes Father," Jason muttered, staring at the floor in an attempt to hide his tears. Another blow sent Jason crashing to the ground.

"And look at me when you do so!" Yaxley yelled. With an effort, Jason struggled upright and stood up again. His father stood at only two or so inches taller than Jason, but the power lay with the elder Yaxley, sure as Hellfire.

"Yes, Father," Jason punctuated both words in a hiss. Yaxley pulled on his robes to straighten them and stood up straight and tall.

"Just wanted to check on you, and to tell you, all is going well. All but the search for that damn Potter! But we'll find him. And rest assured my son, once he is rid of, our Lord will reward all of us in the highest degree. You won't have to continue feeding those filthy _rats_ down there; they'll be dead." Jason's head snapped up at his father's words.

"Y-yes sir."

"I must be off. Work to do," and with that, Yaxley disappeared.

Jason did as he always did- shoved aside the pain and feelings and became like stone. He made his way down into the dungeons.

"Oh hello. You're a bit late today, aren't you," Luna commented. Immediately, Jason felt his stone protection begin to crumble.

"I must admit, I'm rather hungry by now. What about you Mr. Ollivander?"

"I as well, my dear. I as well. But we should be patient, or he may not give us the food at all," Ollivander cautioned her quietly so Jason could not hear.

"Oh no, I don't think he would do that. He seems like a nice person. A bit confused though. Perhaps the nargels got to him," said Luna airily. Suddenly, Jason's defenses all seemed to collapse. He knelt on the floor, dropping the tray with a clang. Sitting back on his knees, Jason felt tears begin to flow and his body contracted. He sat with a curved back, his arms drawn in tightly to himself. The tears made a hiss as they hit the cold stone floor.

"Oh my," said Luna, "I think I've upset him." Luna walked over and knelt next to the young man. Without any thought, she drew back his hood. Underneath she saw a man, only a few years her elder, with striking blue eyes, a pale complexion, and black hair that fell to one side, practically covering his right eye from view.

"There, see? I like you much better without that hood on. You're quite attractive you know." Luna's blunt manner made Jason laugh a little through his tears and a shiver ran through his body.

"Oh but goodness. Your face is all bruised. You'd be much more attractive if that went away as well. I suppose it can't be helped however; we don't have our wands, so I can't fix it for you," said Luna. Luna reached out and gently stroked his bruised cheek. Jason felt his face grow hot.

"Luna! Come away!" hissed Ollivander. Luna ignored him. Jason wondered if she'd even heard.

"What happened? Are you all right?" Jason's mind was turning. Should he risk answering her? He remembered how his father had referred to her as a rat and said how she would die. Fury raged inside of him, and he made his decision.

"It was my father."

"Oh dear, how awful. A father should never do something like that. My father wouldn't hurt a fly. Who is your father?"

"Yaxley," said Jason. Ollivander mumbled incoherently and stumbled further away. "The Death Eater."

"I believe I've heard of him. Very scary they say. Are you a Death Eater as well?"

"Yes." His answer did not faze Luna in the slightest.

"I'm very sorry," she said sincerely. Jason was taken aback.

"Sorry? For me? Are you _nuts_? We're the reason you're down here, the reason people everywhere are terrified every single day. We're the reason you can't see your father anymore."

"Yes, that certainly is upsetting. But I don't think you're a Death Eater to scare anyone. You're a kind person, I can tell. Is this your father's fault as well?" Luna once again shocked Jason into momentary silence. Who was this person? Why did he feel like she was reading straight from his heart and mind? How was she so aware of everything?

"Yes," Jason whispered.

"Don't worry; things will turn out all right, you'll see," comforted Luna. Jason smiled and found himself speechless.

"You don't like to talk much, do you?" she asked. Jason gave a laugh.

"I've long since learned that keeping silent is the best way to block out emotion and pain."

"You should speak more," Luna told him. "I like the sound of your voice." Jason laughed again and leaned towards her, about to ask 'You do?' when he heard a loud voice calling.

"Yaxley! Where are you boy?" Jason leapt from the ground, and rushed out of the cell, clanging the door behind him.

"Goodbye," he heard from behind him, as he went in search of Lucius Malfoy.

Every day after, Jason would stop and spend as much time as he could, talking to this eccentric girl. She told him about all about her father, and the Quibbler, and her friends at school. In turn, Jason told her about his own pitiful family, and about his years at Durmstrang. Over time he grew more comfortable with her, and even eventually revealed some of the dark and dangerous missions he had been required to take as a Death Eater. He was not proud of the nighttime visits. He was not glad to have watched an old Hogwarts teacher die right before his eyes.

But Luna forgave all and was simply glad that he would talk. Jason was very enthusiastic about hearing Luna's fanciful stories of wild creatures that Jason could not truly believe existed. But simply hearing about them from this fantastic girl made the load on his shoulders seem to lessen a bit.

"Things will be alright. I used to get teased often at school. People would steal my things, hide my shoes. Harmless pranks really. Everything would always turn up though, when I needed them. Have faith."

Luna's simple words of comfort always warmed Jason's heart. How could he help his attraction to her? How could he stop his desire to let her heal him completely? It was so appealing. He was the night to her day. How nice it would be to pour out his darkest memories and thoughts to her.

One day as Luna and Jason sat together in the cellar and she described to him the natural habitat of nargels, Ollivander approached from the darkness. The light from Jason's wand gave Ollivander's face an eerie gleam.

"If you're so good, why are we still locked up here? Why don't you let us go?" The voice came as little more than a whisper.

Jason stood up slowly, his heart automatically hardening towards this old man.

"That is not my decision to make," he said coolly before turning and leaving the room.

"You shouldn't have said that," said Luna. She said this not as a reprimand, but simply an observation. "He seemed to turn off. Did you notice the light leave his eyes, and the warmth leave his face? I think he blocked out his emotions. Probably a defense mechanism of some sort. I do hope he doesn't keep silent for long, I do believe I'm rather fond of him. It would be sad to lose a friend to silence. Oh well."

Jason stood in the corner, cloaked all in black, hood up, watching the scene before him unfold. Three youths were suspected of being Harry Potter and his two friends. Suddenly Bellatrix caught sight of a sword in their possession and she began screaming bloody murder. Jason was ordered to take the boys down into the cellar, and so he did. As he left back up the stairs, Jason heard Luna and the two boys (Ron and Harry as he heard) greet each other familiarly.

_So these are her real friends_, he thought bitterly. _Not some Death Eater like me_.

Jason once again stood in the corner, watching indifferently as the girl was tortured. The ringing shrieks had no effect on him. Then he was ordered to go back down to the cellar and retrieve the goblin. Goblin? Jason hadn't even been aware there _was_ a goblin.

Finally, Jason was sent down a third time for the boys. As he reached the top of the staircase he heard voices below him.

"Go; take Luna and Mr. Ollivander now, alright Dobby? Then come back for us."

"Anything for Harry Potter!" Jason rushed down the steps and glimpsed Luna and Mr. Ollivander grasping hands with an elf. Jason reached the dungeon.

"No!" Jason bellowed as he locked eyes with a surprised Luna. A second later she was gone with a loud crack and the two boys whirled around. Jason realized too late that the voice activated door had swung open, leaving the two boys fully able to overpower and pass him. But that would only be if they had wands.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Jason's body froze and he fell backwards against the stairs. Damn. Eyes unwillingly fixated on the ceiling, Jason listened as intently as he could.

"Come on Ron," said Harry. "We'll go get Hermione and Griphook, then Dobby can apparate us all out of here." By the pounding of footsteps, Jason presumed that Ron had already bolted up the stairs, soon followed by his friend. A few minutes passed and the spell began to lift. Suddenly Jason heard yelling, shrieking, fighting, and the sound of misfired spells. The body-bind disappeared instantly. Jason leapt to his feet and sprinted up the stairs. He crouched hidden from view for a moment, and observed the room, wand at the ready.

The elf he had seen only moments before now stood with the two boys, girl, and goblin. Bellatrix and Narcissa stood across the room, Bellatrix infuriated, Narcissa cold but confused. Making a split second decision, Jason lunged and took hold of Ron's arm. Before Ron had time to react, the group disapparated.

They reappeared on a white sandy shore near a quaint little cottage.

Ron immediately stood up and faced Jason. Standing between them was Harry, unaware of Jason's presence.

"Harry!" shouted Ron in warning. Harry spun around and yelled, "Expelliarmus!" before Jason had moved a muscle. Jason raised his hands in a sign of nonaggression as his wand went flying. His hood had slipped down, revealing his youth. Harry kept his wand pointed fiercely at Jason.

A slight distance away at the cottage, Luna and Mr. Ollivander appeared and began to walk towards the group. Luna did not hurry, and in fact seemed quite oblivious to the tense atmosphere.

"Hello Jason. It's quite a surprise to see you here. Did you come to escape your father?" Harry lowered his wand slowly, still apprehensive. Jason nodded in response to Luna's question.

"I came to be with you." Luna beamed.

"That's very nice of you. It saddened me to think of losing another friend. You're rather fun to talk to; I do like you quite a bit," she told him. Jason smiled.

"You do?" he asked, stepping closer.

"Well yes. I don't miss the room much, but it was nice to have someone who-" Luna was interrupted as Jason swiftly pulled her into a hug. She hugged back and after a few moments they drew apart.

"You're rather cold you know. Kind of surprising, given your black cloak, don't you think? I-" This time Luna was cut off as Jason's lips met her own in a forceful, yet not aggressive, and surprising kiss. At first Luna stood still, unsure what to do. But after a moment, she kissed him back and the two stood in an embrace. Jason pulled back and stared into Luna's eyes, gauging her reaction. The blush on her cheeks and soft smile encouraged him, and a smile lit his face.

"I-" Luna began, but Jason simply shook his head and brought a finger to her lips.

"Luna... I love you. So just this once... hush," he murmured as he leaned in to kiss her once again.

"I think that's the first time I've ever seen Luna hesitant about _anything_," Hermione whispered to Harry and Ron.

"Hermione!" cried Harry in a playful, shocked tone.

"Hey, even loonys like a little bit of lovin'," Ron commented.

"Ron!" This time it was Hermione who spoke, as Harry was attempting to quiet his laughter.

Suddenly a weak voice called out, stopping all conversation and kissing.

"Harry Potter..." Everyone turned to find Dobby lying on the ground, a knife in his side.

"Dobby... Dobby!" Harry rushed to Dobby's side and the rest followed slowly behind.

"Dobby why... why didn't you _say_ something?"

"Dobby could not interrupt such a perfect moment among his friends. But Dobby is glad to be here. Glad to be with his friends." Harry's cries for help to Hermione rang out as Dobby's life slipped away. Harry sat, rocking his friend in disbelief.

Later Harry dug a grave for Dobby and the others helped in his burial. They each spoke their last words to Dobby, the free elf. When it was Jason's turn, he stepped forward and knelt beside the grave, holding Luna's hand all the time.

"Thank you. Thank you for saving her. You will never be forgotten." Jason stood and walked to Shell Cottage, hand in hand with Luna.

Jason and Luna remained hidden for several months, until word came that there was finally to be the expected battle. At Hogwarts, Jason and Luna reunited with their friends and stayed in the Room of Requirements. When the battle came, Jason never left Luna's side. Seeing Jason shocked the other Death Eaters, who had believed him dead, and then drove them mad as they realized who he was fighting for. But one by one the Death Eaters were taken care of. Jason and his father came face to face in battle and a vicious duel ensued. With neither side gaining an advantage, Ginny and Neville spotted the fight and joined to help their friend, Luna. Yaxley was too greatly outnumbered, and he was defeated.

At the conclusion, Jason and Luna mourned the losses and celebrated the victory with all the others. Jason took every opportunity to kiss Luna, for he had feared he might not be able to ever again.

Four years later, Jason Yaxley and Luna Lovegood were wed. Luna chose to keep her surname because she felt any other name would not represent her. They had three children- Eleanor (Ellie) Dobby Lovegood, Marissa Xenophilius Yaxley, and Jasper Ryans Lovegood.


End file.
